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Friday September 18th, 2009
“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”
Denis Waitley
Don’t worry; I’m not going to be writing about Daisytree three days a week from here on in, but I have to let you know how Pip’s first REAL day at school went down.
I waited until we were at the breakfast table to say, “So Pip, when we go to Daisytree today, Lily would like all of the parents to leave for awhile so that she can have some fun with the kids.”
Pip stopped chewing her cereal and looked straight ahead, out the dining-room window, for a good minute. She was processing. “Mama,” she began thoughtfully, “I’m not used of you being gone. Can you stay with me at Daisytree until I’m used of it?”
“Of course I will Pip.” My husband and I looked at each other and smiled.
“You said that very well, Sweetie,” Big Daddy-O said, and gave Pip a wink.
Pip seemed happy with the discussion. I prepared to stay at Daisytree the entire two and a half hours. I packed an extra snack for Fig because she would be attending as well. I knew that Lily would be supportive of whatever worked for Pip; she had told me previously that it takes some kids weeks, (and sometimes months,) of having their parents attend pre-school with them before they’re ready to fly solo.
Off we went to Daisytree. Pip seemed happy to be there, but she kept me close to her as she watched the other mothers leave their kids. Without exception, the children were all fine. Lily’s teaching assistant, Louise, came over to us and said, “Pip, would you like to give your mom a big hug good-bye and come with me?”
Pip just turned to me and said, “Mama!”
“Pip, I’m not going to leave until you’re ready,” I reassured her.
“Of course!” said Louise, “your mom can stay with us as long as you want.”
Pip relaxed. She surveyed the room. Her two teachers were happy and smiling, the kids were all having fun, and there wasn’t another parent in sight. In the blink of an eye, she turned to me and said, “You can leave now, Mama.”
Wow! I didn’t see that coming so quickly. “Okay Pip, big hug.” We embraced, then I turned from her and didn’t look back. I grabbed a shoe-less Fig, chatted briefly with Lily on the way out of the door, and left. I couldn’t quite believe that I was on the outside! I walked slowly to the car, chatted with other moms, and took my time getting Fig into her car-seat in case Pip had a change of heart. Everything seemed fine. I was one proud mama pulling out of that driveway.
Fig and I enjoyed our one-on-one time together; running a few errands and taking a little forest-walk. More than once, I wondered how Pip was doing, and to be honest, I missed her. I’ve been away from her for much longer periods of time, but this felt different somehow.
Two-and-a-half hours later, I arrived back at Daisytree to see my happy three-year-old running toward me with crafts in hand. “Mama, Lily gave me a treasure!”
Lily gave me a treasure too. To have my daughter’s first experience away from her family be so positive is truly a gift.
At lunch-time Pip was full of Daisytree stories. “Mom, I liked it when you were gone.”
I never would have guessed that those words would be music to my ears, but they were.
“That’s great Pip!”
She continued, “I went up to Lily and I said ‘my mom’s gone’ and she said ‘that’s great’ and then all I felt was…all I could feel was fun! I just felt fun the whole time.”
Talk about happy endings.
Thursday September 17th, 2009 “Rhythm is something you either have or you don’t have, but when you have it, you have it all over.”
Elvis Presley
Local people will know that KidsFest was held this past weekend and Swarm was one of the main acts. I wrote a post about them months ago because I used to be a member of Swarm when I was living in Vancouver, and I miss playing with them.
Bill, the director of the group, creates all of the drums and other instruments out of recycled materials. They’re an exciting band to watch and even more exciting to play with; the rhythms are funky, the drums spin and roll, the choreography is unique and the performers are highly entertaining.
Pip and I, along with my sister and niece, went to see my old band-mates, and they did not disappoint. They have done an amazing job of adapting their show to suit children and it was obvious that the audience loved them.
After I had introduced the Swarm members to my daughter, we made plans to meet-up and I headed home to drop Pip off with her dad and sister. Pip didn’t say much about the band or the performance. She was pretty subdued during the ride home.
At dinner-time however, she said, “Mama, you know those curious little people who are your friends,” (it’s true; she really called them ‘curious little people.’)
“Yes,” I said, barely able to contain myself.
“I’d like to see them again. They had some interesting music.”
Well-said, Pip.
Wednesday September 16th, 2009 “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings.”
Hodding Carter
Our second visit to Daisytree was a shortened morning session in which all of the kids and parents met for a short time to get acquainted. As I suspected, Pip was hesitant when the room was full of people. Fig happily launched into some puzzling with a couple of other kids while Pip clung to my arm. I kept trying to nudge her toward activities that other kids were involved with, but she stayed by my side and simply observed the busy-ness.
Lily let all of the parents and kids get to know each other in an informal manner, then she called the group together for a story. She wasn’t going to read a book though, she was going to tell the story of ‘The Three Billy Goats Gruff,’ and she had props! Suddenly, my sidekick whispered to me, “Mom, I want to help Lily tell the story,” and she marched past the kids and parents to Lily’s side. Lily paused and looked at Pip, “Lily, I want to help you.”
Lily fed Pip the lines and Pip delivered them with flair. She went from being the quiet observer clinging to her mom, to being the front-and-centre storyteller. Amazing. Pip’s involvement inspired other kids to want ‘goat roles,’ and the proud parents were all entertained by neighing, uncooperative goats.
The kids enjoyed a snack together and, before we knew it, the morning had come to an end.
Successful Daisytree visit number two!
The next step is a big one: no parents. Pip has managed to surprise me at every turn though, and with Lily casting her enchanting spell over Pip, I’m optimistic that she’ll be fine without me. I’ll let you know what happens on Friday.
Tuesday September 15th, 2009 “I am in love with the green earth.”
Charles Lamb
Fig greets everything; people, geese, trees, slugs, flowers, bees…you name it, she’ll say ‘hi’ to it. I remember when Pip was her age she did the same thing. Isn’t it lovely? We should all be spreading our good energy to every living thing. I’m sure the flowers and trees appreciate it at some level.
Many years ago I was introduced to an e.e.cummings poem that fast became a favourite. I began a little ritual. Whenever I was out in nature, feeling appreciative, I would recite the first stanza. I taught it to my students when we were climbing hills in Bolivia and we recited it when we were paddling down a tributary of the Amazon river. I remember reciting it when I was dancing with hundreds of people on the streets of Basseterre in St.Kitts watching the sun rise over the Caribbean Sea, and now I say it when I’m with my girls.
The other day we were on a little forest trail, just the three of us, and we came across a giant root. “Look at this enormous root!” I had said.
“Hello, Root,” Fig said.
“Hello, Root,” Pip and I echoed. That’s when I introduced them to e.e.cummings’ poem.
You don’t have to believe in God to appreciate it; I don’t see it as a religious poem as much as a spiritual poem. It’s best if you read it aloud, with gusto! So go ahead…let this gorgeous combination of words roll off of your tongue:
i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
Is it possible to NOT feel grateful after that?
Monday September 14th, 2009 “The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
— Havelock Ellis
I completely underestimated the loveliness of Lily, (the name I’ll give Pip’s teacher,) and her gorgeous pre-school, (which I’ve chosen to call Daisytree.)
Two weeks ago I wrote, (at great length, I might add apologetically,) about the dilemma I faced regarding Pip and pre-school. She had been saying that she didn’t want to go, and I wasn’t sure if I should nudge her in the direction of school or just wait for another year.
Surprisingly, just a few days after I’d written that post, Pip began to change her tune: “Mama, I think Toto might like to go to Daisytree.” Toto, of course, is the stuffed polar bear that she carries with her when she’s pretending to be Dorothy. I took Toto’s willingness as a very good sign, and decided to move forward with the initial pre-school meeting.
Lily wisely asked to meet with each child and parent privately before the first day of school. I told Pip that we were going on a special date together to meet Lily and visit Daisytree. Once she found out that I was going to stay with her the entire time, she was excited to go.
After greeting us warmly at the door, Lily guided Pip into the enchanting world of Daisytree. There were lovely silks hanging from the ceiling, inspiring art works on every piece of wall, a gorgeous easel with paints and brushes ready to go, a table with puzzles, a centre with fossils and magnifying glasses, a water station with cups and bubbles inside, and a plethora of other intriguing items.
Pip had a brush in her hand within the first three minutes. Lily’s manner with Pip was so encouraging, gentle and respectful that Pip felt comfortable engaging in conversation with her immediately. Pip was mixing colours and talking about her technique:
“Lily?”
“Yes Pip?”
“Sometimes I like to do a combo.”
“Oh, combos are lovely aren’t they? Would you like to add some sparkles to your painting?”
“Oh yes, we love sparkles!”
Pip kept referring to herself as ‘we’ throughout the meeting. I don’t think she has schizophrenic tendencies, I think she has just picked up on my tendency to say things like, “We always wash our hands before we eat,” or “We have to wipe every time we use the bathroom.” It was interesting though. She and I have been a ‘we’ for three and a half years, and now she was taking a huge step in the direction of “I.”
Lily and Pip got along famously. They talked about Pip’s ruby-red-slippers, (which are actually purple,) they glued little blankets on Pip’s painting, they toured around the room touching interesting things, and they hugged each other good-bye.
I got a little misty a couple of times that morning. Fig had woken up at five am, so that might have been why my emotions rose so easily, but I suspect it was more about the pride that I felt watching my daughter create a new relationship with this lovely woman. Pip was finding her own way to ‘be’ in the world.
Lily walked us to our car and waved at Pip until we couldn’t see her anymore. Before I had a chance to ask any questions, Pip simply said, “Wow, Mama.”
My sentiments exactly.
Friday September 11th, 2009 “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.”
Henry Ford
Last month I wrote about Pip helping out with chores around the house. I posted photos of her folding laundry, rolling pizza dough and stacking wood. I did not, however, include any information about our little Fig, who also likes to help around the house.
At the tender age of 18 months, Fig basically wants to do everything that her big sister does. When Pip says, “Mama, watch this,” and performs a tricky little dance maneuver, Fig then says, “Mama, itch!” and twirls around as best she can.
The same is true for household chores; when Fig sees her big sister helping out with a job, she dives right in too! The difference is, Fig doesn’t really help, she makes more work for me in the long run. Her version of folding laundry, for example, is taking the clean laundry out of the basket, piling it in a heap, and giving the pile of clothes a nice little pat.
  
Corn-husking is another of Fig’s favourite jobs, and although she is fairly productive, she makes an incredible mess. Husking, therefore, is solely an outdoor activity.
 
We’re encouraging Fig to help out nonetheless, because one day in the not-too-distant future, she will indeed be more of a help than a hinderance.
Thursday September 10th, 2009
“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs…since the payment is pure love.”
Mildred B. Vermont
Pip told me that I was ‘the greatest of love’ when I was tucking her into bed. The greatest of love. How does she do it? How does this tiny person create the most tender moments of my life?
I thought the most tender moment of my life was the first time I saw her face. Then one day Pip smiled at me. Next came the day she said “Mama” for the first time. Soon she was saying, “I love you Mama,” and now she articulates her love in unique and profound ways. She continually gifts me with pure sweetness.
When I see new mothers in love with their newborn babies I think to myself, “Just you wait…you have no idea how much beauty is in store for you.”
I wonder if mothers of older children think the same way when they see me with my girls… or do they think, “Cherish these times, you’re not always going to be their number one person!”
I remember going to see Barbara Coloroso speak to an auditorium full of teachers and parents. She was talking about teenagers and said, “If your fifteen-year-old tells you that she hates you, you’re probably doing a great job of parenting.”
Is that what we have to look forward to? Maybe. That’s when I’ll have to look back at these posts and re-live the moment that my daughter told me I was the greatest of love.
Wednesday September 9th, 2009 “I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not blonde.”
~Dolly Parton
You’ve got to love Dolly.
As promised, I’m giving you a visual update on Grassman’s hair. I think you’ll be impressed.
On Friday we witnessed these little sprouts:
Unfortunately, Grassman is going to have to deal with some unsightly facial hair:
And here’s a shot of our little man taken Saturday:
I feel like I’m shooting a Rogain ad.
Okay, prepare yourselves…here’s our man as of yesterday:
Poor guy. He’s not even a week old and already he needs to get his roots done:
Here’s Grassman’s profile. Note the impressive ear-growth.
I saw a man with his own crop of ear-hair this summer at a party. He was obviously anti-grooming.
Pip can’t wait to put the scissors to Grassman.
Tuesday September 8th, 2009 “The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”
Samuel Johnson
To me, September has always felt more like the beginning of a new year than January. It began when I was a child getting ready for the first week of school, and continued into adulthood when I became a teacher and later married one. There’s a tangible change in the energy of our household. It feels like a fresh start, a new beginning, a time to make Fall Resolutions. Or perhaps it’s less daunting to think of them simply as ‘habits.’
I remember noticing how agile the elderly were in India. They were always squatting. They’d squat to visit, to eat, to work, to empty their bladders and bowels, and they appeared to have no difficulty transitioning from a squatting to a standing position. I shared my observation with my hostess, Maduri, and she simply replied, “Habit.”
What are the habits that I would like to form this year? And what are the habits that I would like to break?
One habit that my Indian family had developed was to meditate every day, three times a day with their children. I’m not sure if three-year-old Baby was really meditating during these times, in fact I’m sure that she wasn’t, but she was still and quiet and she knew that it was a sacred time for her family. I liked that. After their meditation, they usually did a few stretches together. I liked that too.
So this fall, I’m going to start a little morning ritual with my daughters. At some point every day, we’re all going to go into the living room, put on some meditative music and do a few simple stretches. I know that it’ll be great for my body, great for their little bodies, and perhaps it will help us all to feel centered as we progress through the day.
A habit I’d like to break? My morning coffee. No, it’s not the caffeine-habit that I’d like to kick, (I already drink de-caf,) it’s the damn cream and sugar!!! I blame my husband for the cream. I hadn’t known the beauty of a silky, creamy coffee before I met him. And the sugar? Honestly…there’s nobody to blame for that one. I’ve tried drinking it black, which made me realize that I don’t actually like the flavour of coffee. It’s just the warm, soothing, sweet beverage that I find so enjoyable.
I think I’ll use a replacement strategy for breaking this habit. I’ll still enjoy a hot drink in the morning, but I’ll find a yummy decaffeinated herbal tea to replace my creamy coffee. I’m open to suggestions. Any favourite teas you’d like to recommend?
So those are my Fall Habits; one to form and one to kick. Anybody out there want to join me? Let me know what you’re going to form and/or kick.
Monday September 7th, 2009 “It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labour of peace.”
Andre Gide
Happy Labour Day Everyone! (And Happy Labor Day to my American friends.)
I wonder if my friend Lori will go into labour on Labour Day. That would be something, wouldn’t it?
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