The necessity of ‘NO’
I was in a restaurant with my family and there was another couple with a toddler at the next table. The little girl was yelling, ‘No,’ about something and the mother felt it necessary to apologize for her. She said that they had tried never to use the word, ‘No’ with their daughter, but she had picked it up somehow.
Have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous??? Never using the word ‘NO?’ How does that translate into the future? What will this little girl be like when she’s sixteen and wants to increase her wardrobe so she starts shoplifting?
I’m reminded of a grade-one student I had who was having a TERRIBLE time in school because his mom had read a book about never saying ‘no’ to her child. It was no wonder that the little guy had a temper tantrum every time he didn’t get his way.
I believe that ‘NO’ is necessary. Especially when it concerns safety; kids reaching for the stove, hitting, touching sharp objects etc. You HAVE to say NO. Not only that, but the delivery is important as well. I’ve seen parents say ‘No’ to their children while smiling sweetly. They’re sending their kids mixed messages. If you want your child to take you seriously, then look serious. You don’t have to yell or get angry, just be firm. Don’t sugar coat your NOs.
Having said that, I do understand that nobody wants to be saying, ‘No,’ all day long, and your children certainly don’t want to hear it either. If your child is asking for something they can’t have, instead of saying ‘no’ all the time you can say, “not right now honey, but after dinner I’ll do a puzzle with you,” or “I’d love to read to you after I finish the laundry; would you like to help me?” or, “You can’t have a cookie right now, but I’ll get you some fruit.” You get the idea.
Please don’t make the mistake of wanting to be your child’s ‘buddy.’ You’re not a buddy, you’re a parent, and you’re helping your child learn how to be an accepted, successful member of society. JUST SAY NO!!!