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Friday August 21st, 2009

Progress

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

George Bernard Shaw

Get this:  Fig has gone down for her nap three days in a row without me, or my breasts.

Here’s how things have gone down:

Big Daddy-O takes the girls out for a stroll to a park with a picnic lunch while I get some work done.  When they return, I hide out in the basement so that Fig won’t see me and say, “boobie,” as she typically does around noon.

The next thing I know, my husband is descending the stairs to tell me that Fig is asleep.  No breast-milk, no bottled-milk, just a little cuddle from her dad before she hits the crib.

This is progress.

My breasts have been uncomfortably full each day by about four o’clock, but that won’t last long.  I must admit though, they sure filled out my bathing suit nicely yesterday.  (We’ll skip the photos today.)

Thursday August 20th, 2009

Chores

“Genius is one-percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”

Thomas Edison

When I find myself drowning in the deep sea of household chores, I marvel at the fact that, in the fourth grade, I envied my best friend Nadine because she had chores.  In my eyes, Nadine’s chores gave her a status of import; it was as though her family couldn’t survive without her contributions to the running of the household.

When I was growing up, we didn’t have chores.  I looked after my siblings, (who were five and seven years my junior,) but there were no regular jobs that were designated to me.  I’ll have to confer with my mom, but I seem to remember her saying that her kids would be doing enough housework in later years, so she decided to spare us.  And I love her for that.  I had an amazing childhood, and I was taught about responsibility through caring for my brother and sister.  I can’t cook and I don’t know how to get sap out of clothes, but I’m good with kids.

I like my brother-in-law’s philosophy that was handed down to him by his parents.  He said that his mom and dad told him that his first job was school, but he definitely learned the value of hard work as a boy.  So did my husband.  I believe that he was born in the wrong era though.  You see, I married Charles Ingalls, and our backyard reminds people of Little House on the Prairie.  We have a wood shed, a workshop, a rain barrel and a compost.  Big Daddy-O would look right at home pulling into our yard with a horse-drawn wagon.  He loves working outdoors, and when he’s in that element, he’s the hardest worker I’ve ever encountered.

Needless to say, he believes in giving children chores, and I’m with him.  Especially when I see how much Pip LOVES working alongside us.

Here are just a few of the jobs she was given this past week:

Rolling out the pizza dough,

pizza dough

Folding laundry,

Laundry

and her favourite…stacking kindling with her dad.  This is all I saw of Pip when I first went outside:

wood 1

Pip was improvising with my gardening gloves,

wood green better

and making them work for her!

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But we quickly changed to winter gloves that fit her hands better.  Has anyone out there seen kids’ work gloves?

wood 4wood 5wood 7

It looks like Pip might take after her dad.

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They were both grinning the entire time.

wood last

Chores aren’t just about teaching responsibility.  Kids learn skills, they feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment, and oftentimes, they get to spend quality-time with mom or dad.  What could be better than that?wood 6

Wednesday August 19th, 2009

Moments

“Use your precious moments to live life fully every single second of every single day.”

Marcai Wieder

I overheard my husband having a little moment the other day.  He was eating breakfast with the girls and I was in the bathroom getting ready for an appointment.  Fig was sitting on his lap and Pip was in her booster chair.  They were sitting at the big, fir dining table that he had crafted himself, almost twenty years ago.

Fig was putting her finger inside a knot-hole on the surface of the table.

“What’s that spot Dad?” asked Pip.

“It’s a knot in the wood, Pip.  When I was building this table, I remember thinking the knot would add character to the table, make it special.”

There was a long pause.  Spoons clinked against bowls, then my husband continued, “You know Pip, way back when I made this table, I had no idea that my two daughters would be siting at it with me, and I had no idea that my baby girl would like playing with this little knot-hole.”

In the bathroom, I smiled as I brushed my hair.

Tuesday August 18th, 2009

Nuns and Squirrels

“My way of joking is to tell the truth.  It’s the funniest joke in the world.”

George Bernard Shaw

I was teaching the parts of speech to a class of third grade students once and I asked the question, “Who knows what a noun is?”

Trevor put up his hand and said, “Aren’t they the people who work in churches?”

****

When I taught First Grade, I used to conduct a ‘feelings circle’ every morning.  The students would sit on the floor in a circle and they’d each have a turn rating their feelings from one to ten; ten being fantastic and one being pretty low.  It was a great way to gain insight about the kids’ emotional status, and it gave children who were bursting with news an opportunity to share.

I’ll never forget the day little Simone said through tears, “I feel like a ‘one’ this morning because, on the drive to school, we saw a dead squirrel by the side of the road.”  She was overcome with emotion and cried through the second half of her statement.  It was hard for some kids to hear what she had said, so several of them whispered, “What did she say?”

Young Peter, who was sitting right next to Simone and had heard every word, announced matter-of-factly to his classmates, “ROADKILL.”

Monday August 17th, 2009

Why am I doing this?

“Let no one think that flexibility and a predisposition to compromise is a sign of weakness or a sell-out.”

Paul Kagam

Have you ever planned to go to an event that is specifically geared toward your child, only to discover that your child has no interest in going?

I bought our ‘Bobs and Lolo’ tickets in June.  I think their music is great, their look is fresh and their content is current.  I play their cd for my daughters all the time.  I was amazed that they were coming to our little neighbourhood and started prepping Pip for the big concert a few weeks ago.

The big day arrived and Pip didn’t want to go.  She said she would rather watch ‘The Wizard of Oz.’

“But Sweetie, you can do both!  We can go and see the concert, then you can come home and watch ‘The Wizard.”

Pip started crying.  She was sick, she was tired and she was curled up on her little couch in the living room.  “I don’t want to go Mama.”

“Pip, I bought these tickets a long time ago, and Bobs and Lolo are only going to be here for ONE DAY!!!  Right now is our only chance to see them!”  The concert was starting in twenty minutes.

I told Pip she had to stop crying so that we could talk things through.  She finally calmed down enough to say that she didn’t like Bobs and Lolo, (she didn’t mean it ladies,) and she didn’t feel like going to a concert.  She wanted to stay home.  She wanted to lie down.  She was tired and she wanted to see ‘The Wizard of Oz.’  She started crying again.

Big Daddy-O was motioning for me to just take Pip, tears and all, out of the house to the concert.  It was then a crucial question popped into my head, ‘Why am I doing this?’  This is supposed to be a great experience for my little girl.  Am I really going to drag her out of the house crying?  No.

I told Pip that she didn’t have to go.  I told her that I was disappointed, because I thought she’d have a really good time, but we weren’t going to force her to go.  I also said that she wasn’t getting her way because she cried, we were listening to her because she was able to calm down and talk to us about her feelings.  (I could only hope that she’d believe me.)

My sister called me on her cel phone from the concert to see where we were and I filled her in.  “Tell Pip how much her cousin wants to see her,” she said.  So, I walked over to Pip,

“Your cousin is on the phone Pip.  She’s at Bobs and Lolo and she really misses you.”

“Mama,” said Pip, “I’ve changed my mind.”

And we were off.  We were twenty minutes late for the show, but it was still great.  Pip even got up on stage at the end of the show when the dynamic duo invited kids to help them sing.

Afterwards, we went to the face-painting tent and Pip asked for a blue puppy to be painted on her forearm.  She adored her new little buddy.

Back in the car I asked Pip if she was glad that she saw Bobs and Lolo.  “I sure am Mama.   I made a good decision.”

With a little prompting.

blue pupblue two

Friday August 14th, 2009

A bit of a ham

“Although one may fail to find happiness in theatrical life, one never wishes to give it up after having once tasted its fruits.”

Anna Pavlova

I’ve never thought of Pip as an actress.  She doesn’t seem to enjoy drama, which has been quite a relief to Big Daddy-O and I.  When she cries, for instance, it isn’t for show, she is either in physical or emotional pain.  Or she’s tired.  Okay, there are many different reasons that she cries.  My point is, she doesn’t crave an audience.  She would much prefer NOT to be the centre of attention.

During these ‘post-Wizard-of-Oz-viewing’ days, however, Pip is consumed with acting.  We, the members of her family are constantly being given roles: Pip is usually Dorothy, but she plays a great Scarecrow as well.   I’m either Aunty Em or the Lion, Fig is often Toto, and Big Daddy-O is Fred.

Don’t be alarmed if you aren’t familiar with the ‘Fred’ character.  He wasn’t in the movie-version.  He wasn’t on stage either, but he was in the audience.  You see, the local actress who played Dorothy has a father named Fred, so Pip thinks that Dorothy’s father is Fred.  Who knows?  Perhaps Dorothy’s father was named Fred.  Fred Gale.  We never actually learn the whereabouts of Dorothy’s parents do we?  Is it mentioned in the book?  I’ll have to check it out.  (Or maybe not.)

Needless to say, Pip is getting quite good at playing Dorothy.  Today she said something about Toto being taken by the witch, then she broke character and said, “Mama, I sounded just like Dorothy when I said that, didn’t I?”  In fact, she did.

When Fig is unavailable as Toto, Pip carries a little stuffed husky around in a basket and says, “Oh no, the twister is coming Toto!!!”  Here she is with Toto, burying her face into the couch while the mighty storm passes:

Dorothy buried

Pip doesn’t typically enjoy wearing pig-tails, but Dorothy wore them of course, and now Pip does too.  You can tell that they’re a bit of a novelty for her because she can’t keep her hands off of her hair.

hair 2

I realized that Pip’s interest in the theatre extends beyond ‘The Wizard of Oz’  when we saw a garbage truck and she said, “Mama, when I get bigger, I want to be a garbage-girl on the stage.”

Sounds like an interesting musical, doesn’t it?  “Somewhere, over the dumpster…”

Thursday August 13th, 2009

Under the weather

“I enjoy convalescence.  It is the part that makes the illness worthwhile.”

George Bernard Shaw


Pip has caught a summer bug.  No, it’s not a grasshopper in a jar, it’s a sore throat and a runny nose.  We were supposed to attend a big family dinner this evening, but Pip was running a slight fever, so it was decided that Fig and Big Daddy-O would attend on their own.

It was late afternoon when Pip and I found ourselves all alone in the house.  “What would you like to do, Pip?”  I asked.

“Can we have a bubble-bath together?” was her quick response.  I used to bathe with Pip regularly when she was a baby; long before her younger sister arrived on the scene.  Now it was just too crowded in our little tub for the three of us, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a bath with Pip.

“Sure, Sweetie.”  I said.  I didn’t really feel like a bubble-bath at four o’clock in the afternoon, but I thought a bit of steam might be good for Pip’s sinuses, so I started running the water.

Pip helped me pour some lavender bath bubbles into the tub, and the scent inspired me immediately.  I decided to go all-out for our special bath.  I lit some candles and put on some relaxing, meditative music.  I got into the tub with Pip and she started playing with the bubbles while I just relaxed and watched her.bub3

When I was single, living in my Kitsilano condo in Vancouver, I enjoyed many such baths on my own.  It was one of my favourite ways to unwind after work.  And here I was, only a handful of years later, sharing the experience with my three-year-old daughter.bub2

We talked about Pip’s favourite topic as of late: The Wizard of Oz.  I washed Pip’s face and blew her nose and held her when she wanted to lie back and relax.  At one point she closed her eyes for a bit and it was so still, I could hear the bubbles dissolve around us.bub1

After our bath I made soup, and Pip and I sipped warm broth from mugs while we watched The Wizard of Oz.  By the time Big Daddy-O walked in the door with Fig, Pip and I were snuggled together on the couch, completely caught up in Dorothy’s adventure.

No mother enjoys having sick kids, but I have to say that I loved the time Pip and I spent together this afternoon.  I think it nourished both of us.

Wednesday August 12th, 2009

The Cheese Factor

“A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.”

Charles Gordy


I captured better photographs of Fig before she could speak.

At some point, somebody, (it couldn’t possibly have been me,) taught Fig and Pip to say, “cheese,” when a photograph is being taken.  Now every time Fig sees me with a camera, (which is quite often,) she scrunches up her face and pronounces her version of “cheese,” which seems to involve far more tongue activity than necessary.

Fig’s big blue eyes practically disappear, her nose wrinkles and she becomes all mouth.  I’m not saying that there isn’t a degree of cuteness in Fig’s cheesy smiles, but it’s not representative of what she typically looks like.  The only time we see her wearing this expression, is when she’s ‘cheesing:’

ch1ch2

Cheese in Profile

Cheese in Profile

ch4

You see what I’m up against.  Fig’s ‘cheesing’ has definitely reduced the number of natural looking photos I’ve been able to take.  It’s not easy to discourage such a young and eager cheeser.

(By the way, isn’t Fig’s vertical mono-bang impressive?  Don’t attempt to achieve this look with your hair unless you’ve also been blessed with double cowlicks.)

Tuesday August 11th, 2009

What’s in a name?

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;”

Juliet

from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

It’s official.  I shall no longer refer to my second daughter as, ‘Crazybaby’…she will hereafter be known as ‘Fig.’  After a lengthy (30 seconds) discussion with Pip, it was decided that I should use our ‘in-utero’ names for both girls .

Our sweet little Fig

Our sweet little Fig

When I was first pregnant with Pip I had signed onto a British website called ‘Babycentre’ and I’d get little updates about each stage of my pregnancy.  I remember clearly the day I read, “By this week, your baby is about the size of an apple pip.”  Thus, the name Pip was born.

Similar story for Fig, except that I started tracking my pregnancy through Babycentre a bit further along, so the second time around the size of my baby was compared to a Fig.  Interestingly enough, Fig entered the world at a whopping 9lbs, 10oz.  Crazy!  (Oops.)

Pip loves it when I tell her stories about how she once lived inside my belly.  Once, she turned to me after such a story and said, “Mama, when you were in my belly, I called you Flitter.”

So perhaps Fig’s ‘crazy-baby’ phase will disappear along with the name, ‘Crazybaby.’

She has been eating less dirt these days.  That’s promising, isn’t it?

Monday August 10th, 2009

Good advice

“In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”

Michael Korda


Don’t you love it when somebody tells you exactly what you need to hear at exactly the right time?  And isn’t it great when you’re the person providing someone you love with exactly what they need to hear at exactly the right time?  In one moment, I experienced both.

I am thoroughly enjoying this Grateful Mama business, but in order to take it to the next level, it’s going to require some additional time and energy.  At least at the beginning.  It was challenging enough to try to achieve balance in my life without adding ‘start-up a new business’ to my plate, but I’ve been so passionate about it that I haven’t really stopped to think about the short-term implications for my family.  I’ve got the long-term plan in mind.

After a day-long discussion with my husband, I have to admit that I was feeling discouraged.  I wasn’t doubting my passion for the project, but I was wondering if my goals were realistic.  I had also run into some minor hurdles, one of which being the recent discovery that my computer and my printer are incompatible.  (Why can’t everybody just get along?)

So I was in a defeated sort of space.  I thought I’d try to boot up my old computer to see if it would play nicely with my printer, and while I was rummaging through cupboards in the basement, I came across one of my old journals (circa 1999) full of inspirational quotations and other writings.  I opened it to this page:

Brandon (one of my students) brought in an absolutely incredible book called, “The Value of Believing in Yourself,” and it was about Louis Pasteur, a French scientist who invented a vaccine for rabies as well as the process for keeping milk from spoiling: ‘pasteurization.’  Interesting that James (my friend) sent me an email about the very same thing.  He had dinner with Alan (a highly successful business man) and he asked him what the most valuable lesson was that he had learned throughout his career.  Alan didn’t hesitate before saying,

“To have faith.”

I had written the last three words in large letters in the middle of the page.  It was a message.  A message sent from ‘Me-Then’ to ‘Me-Now.’  And I got it.  Loud and clear.

journal