“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
Kahlil Gibran
Over the last month, it seems as though Fig has become more attached to me than usual. She’s sleeping through the night now and I’m down to only two breast-feeds each day, so she may be feeling as though she has less ‘up-close-and-personal-time’ with Mama. These days, if she’s awake, she’s glued to my hip, which makes it challenging to leave the house without her. The girls have only really known one babysitter thus far: my mother. Yes, we know how lucky we are to have family close by; especially a grandmother who is so willing and wonderful…but that’s another post.
Lately, every time Grandma P. comes over to watch the girls, (which is at least once each week,) Fig immediately starts following me around the house with her arms outstretched, crying, “Mama!” Fig often has to be wrenched from my arms, before I make a quick exit. I know that she calms down quickly, and my mom is great at distracting Fig, but it’s unpleasant, to say the least.
One morning Grandma P. managed to distract Fig while I put on my boots and coat, and grabbed my purse. I waved silently to Mom and she nodded quickly. Without saying anything, we knew we were both thinking the same thing: that I should get out while the getting was good!
I slipped out the door, walked down the stairs and around the house to my car. I even sat down in the driver’s seat, and then I thought, “I can’t do it. I can’t leave this way.” I hadn’t said good-bye to Pip or to Fig. It didn’t feel right. I have always wanted to instill trust in my daughters. I don’t want them to think that Mama can disappear at any time. I want them to know that I’ll always be honest with them, and that I have faith they can handle any situation.
So, I went back inside. My mom looked surprised. “Sorry Mom,” I said, “I don’t want to sneak out the back door, I want to say good-bye properly and face the music.” My mom completely understood. I gave each of my daughters a kiss and a hug and I said ‘good-bye’ before I left. And wouldn’t you know it, Fig just looked at me and said, “Bye, Mama!”