Moving from ‘we’ to ‘I’

“The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
— Havelock Ellis

I completely underestimated the loveliness of Lily, (the name I’ll give Pip’s teacher,) and her gorgeous pre-school, (which I’ve chosen to call Daisytree.)

Two weeks ago I wrote, (at great length, I might add apologetically,) about the dilemma I faced regarding Pip and pre-school.  She had been saying that she didn’t want to go, and I wasn’t sure if I should nudge her in the direction of school or just wait for another year.

Surprisingly, just a few days after I’d written that post, Pip began to change her tune:  “Mama, I think Toto might like to go to Daisytree.”  Toto, of course, is the stuffed polar bear that she carries with her when she’s pretending to be Dorothy.  I took Toto’s willingness as a very good sign, and decided to move forward with the initial pre-school meeting.

Lily wisely asked to meet with each child and parent privately before the first day of school.  I told Pip that we were going on a special date together to meet Lily and visit Daisytree.  Once she found out that I was going to stay with her the entire time, she was excited to go.

After greeting us warmly at the door, Lily guided Pip into the enchanting world of Daisytree.  There were lovely silks hanging from the ceiling, inspiring art works on every piece of wall, a gorgeous easel with paints and brushes ready to go, a table with puzzles, a centre with fossils and magnifying glasses, a water station with cups and bubbles inside, and a plethora of other intriguing items.

Pip had a brush in her hand within the first three minutes.  Lily’s manner with Pip was so encouraging, gentle and respectful that Pip felt comfortable engaging in conversation with her immediately.  Pip was mixing colours and talking about her technique:

“Lily?”

“Yes Pip?”

“Sometimes I like to do a combo.”

“Oh, combos are lovely aren’t they?  Would you like to add some sparkles to your painting?”

“Oh yes, we love sparkles!”

Pip kept referring to herself as ‘we’ throughout the meeting.  I don’t think she has schizophrenic tendencies, I think she has just picked up on my tendency to say things like,  “We always wash our hands before we eat,” or “We have to wipe every time we use the bathroom.”    It was interesting though.  She and I have been a ‘we’ for three and a half years, and now she was taking a huge step in the direction of “I.”

Lily and Pip got along famously.  They talked about Pip’s ruby-red-slippers, (which are actually purple,) they glued little blankets on Pip’s painting, they toured around the room touching interesting things, and they hugged each other good-bye.

I got a little misty a couple of times that morning.  Fig had woken up at five am, so that might have been why my emotions rose so easily, but I suspect it was more about the pride that I felt watching my daughter create a new relationship with this lovely woman.  Pip was finding her own way to ‘be’ in the world.

Lily walked us to our car and waved at Pip until we couldn’t see her anymore.  Before I had a chance to ask any questions, Pip simply said, “Wow, Mama.”

My sentiments exactly.