Pip wanted to play with her cousin last week and I explained that she was having a sleep-over at Grandma P. and [...]]]> “In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.”
– Ann Landers

Pip wanted to play with her cousin last week and I explained that she was having a sleep-over at Grandma P. and Grandpa R.’s house.  That was all it took.  The seed had been planted; Pip wanted a sleep-over.  We called Grandma P. to arrange a date and Pip started counting the days.

Now my parents are only a ten-minute drive away, but it was a big deal for Pip to sleep away from home.  My husband and I haven’t gone on any trips together (yet) without the kids, and any time my mom has baby-sat for us, she has come over to our house.  The plan was for my mom to pick Pip up at 2:30 pm on Friday so that they could enjoy the afternoon together, before having dinner.  Pip would spend the night with her grandparents and we’d pick her up Saturday morning.

My mom had said to me on the phone, “Now this could be a huge success, or a complete disaster,” and I agreed.  Pip had surprised me with her independence before, but she had also cried Thursday night after I left her bedroom because she missed me.  One never knows how these ‘firsts’ are going to go.  I had told Mom that it would be nice to say goodnight to Pip on the phone, but we agreed that Mom should  initiate the call instead of me,  just in case there were any rough patches.

I’ll tell you right now, the sleep-0ver was a huge success; for Pip.  What my husband and I were not prepared for, was how much we would miss her!  I’ll never forget the look on Big Daddy-O’s face when Grandma and Pip drove away from our house.  I was standing at the door with Fig, trying to ignore the ridiculous tears forming in my eyes, and my husband gave me a look that I’ve never seen before, and I’ll not soon forget.  It was a surprised, emotional look that said, ‘Can you believe how hard this is?’  He yelled up at me, “She just left and I already miss her!”

It felt so strange to be a family without Pip.  Both my husband and I have been away from Pip for at least one night before, but it was a different experience to be at home, going through our normal rituals as a family without our eldest daughter.  Of course we enjoyed our time with Fig, and  I must say that she was in her element.  She didn’t mention her sister once, she just lapped up all the undivided attention we were showering upon her.

When Fig was in the tub, both Big Daddy-O and I were in the bathroom with her, and I said, “I hope Pip calls soon.”  My husband laughed.

“I bet we’re going to be saying that a lot when she’s fifteen.”

“Seventeen.”  I countered.

Pip did indeed call shortly thereafter, and her voice sounded small and happy.  It was pretty special for Pip to have Grandma and Grandpa all to herself.   It was also special for our second child to have her parents all to herself.  In the end, I think everyone benefitted from the sleep-over.  It’s a brilliant feeling to know that there’s a place, other than home, where your child feels safe and well-loved and happy.  Thanks Mom and Dad.

Patty Lovell

I love places where books live.  The girls and I found a gem at our local library called, “Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon” by Patty Lovell, illustrated by David Catrow.  Pip was the one who spotted it;  she [...]]]> “Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you too.”

Patty Lovell

I love places where books live.  The girls and I found a gem at our local library called, “Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon” by Patty Lovell, illustrated by David Catrow.  Pip was the one who spotted it;  she was drawn by the illustrations, and when we later read it at home, I knew it would become a family favourite.

Molly Lou is short and clumsy, has buck teeth and a voice that sounds like a bull-frog being squeezed by a boa-constrictor, but she doesn’t mind.  Her grandmother dispenses wonderful bits of wisdom that serve Molly Lou well, even when she has to start in a new school and is picked on by a bully.

Here’s a sampling of Lovell and Catrow’s magic:

“Molly Melon had buck teeth that stuck out so far, she could stack pennies on them.  She didn’t mind.  Her grandma had told her, ‘Smile big and the world will smile right alongside you.’

So she did.”

Charming, right?   It’s a gift to be reading aloud to my daughters and hear words like, “Believe in yourself and the whole world will believe in you too,” coming out of my mouth.  After reading it every night for two weeks, I’m hopeful that the messages in this little book are taking up residence in my daughters’ minds.  (As well as my own!)

Thornton Wilder

Does anyone else feel as though they need a holiday to recuperate after a holiday?  We went ‘away’ for the long weekend.  We only drove 10 kms to my parents’ beach [...]]]> “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

Thornton Wilder

Does anyone else feel as though they need a holiday to recuperate after a holiday?  We went ‘away’ for the long weekend.  We only drove 10 kms to my parents’ beach house, but let’s face it, packing for a weekend away from home is the same no matter what the distance; you still require an extraordinary amount of gear!  The ‘pack and play’ for Fig to sleep in, the high-chair, the dog’s bed and food, the bikes, the toys, books and games, the outer-garments for all weather, the favourite blanket, the plastic dishes, the footwear for all weather…you know the drill.  (F.Y.I. the only items that were forgotten were my underwear.  Nice.)

We seem to get hit the hardest in the SLEEP department when we’re away from home.  On the day of our departure, Fig missed her nap completely for the first time in her life and she never quite recovered.  She fussed at the drop of a hat for the better part of three days.  Pip had trouble falling asleep each night, but once she was out, she filled her eleven-hour quota without a problem.

We hosted Thanksgiving dinner out a the beach house; everyone pitched in and cooked a dish or two, so the evening was definitely a team-effort, but my husband and I marveled at how fatigued we felt after our gathering of seventeen had dispersed.

All in all, it seemed as though the ratio of ‘preparation for fun’ to ‘actual fun’ was way out of whack.  Maybe that’s just the way life is: good things take some effort.  When I think to myself, was it worth it?  The hours of laundering, packing, unpacking, packing, unpacking and laundering again?  The increased sleep deprivation?  The cranky baby?  The answer is: of course it was worth it!!   For starters, we had our first family beach-fire  and sang ‘The ants go marching…’ as the crackling fire met the crisp, fall air.  The next day, six happy children ate Thanksgiving dinner together, then retired to the family-room for some ‘ring-around-the-rosy’ fun.  And how cool was it that my daughter could look ahead down a beautiful forest path and see her two Grandmothers and her dad walking together?  Pretty cool.

When my mother-in-law was packing up Monday to head back to her home-town, Pip reassured her, “Don’t worry Grandma, we’ll have another one of these ‘Thank’ days again soon.”

I’m all for it.

and now the day was complete.”

~Marcy DeMaree

All of the grandparents I meet tell me how much they appreciate being with their grandchildren.  Certainly part of it has to do with the fact that [...]]]> “Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day

and now the day was complete.”

~Marcy DeMaree

All of the grandparents I meet tell me how much they appreciate being with their grandchildren.  Certainly part of it has to do with the fact that they’re not with the kids ALL THE TIME.  They’re typically not doing all the tough work; the middle-of-the-night feedings, the time-outs, the toilet-training.  But I think their enjoyment has more to do with the fact that they know how brief these precious years are.  All of the old cliches ring true, “They grow up so fast,” and “It’ll be over in the blink of an eye.”  Grandparents realize how fleeting this time is, so they cherish every moment with their grandchildren.

Gramma P holding a month-old Crazybaby

Wouldn’t it be wise then, if we parents started to think like grandparents?  My husband and I actually have an advantage over most of you out there, because we’re older parents who technically could be grandparents!  Sometimes we FEEL like grandparents!!!

The key is to cherish it all.  What a cool word.  Cherish.  I think I’ll teach it to Pip today.

Gramma J with Pip