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    Losing my site

    “If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.”

    Jack Handy

    I’m feeling a new type of gratitude today.  It’s web-host love.

    I had a bit of a ‘web incident’ or ‘wincident’ on Friday.  During an attempt to create a brand new web-site for my blossoming photography business, I inadvertently removed my ‘Grateful Mama’ site from the world-wide-web.  That’s right.  I deleted this entire blog in one click of the keyboard.  It disappeared completely and I honestly thought I would never see it again.

    I’m quite inexperienced when it comes to the technical aspects of designing and maintaining a blog, and I had no idea if my website host, ‘Justhost,’ would have a back-up of my entire site.  After I sent an email to ‘Justhost’ for support, I received a generic response saying they’d get back to me within the hour.  Great.  I felt so helpless.  I kept typing in the ‘Grateful Mama’ url to see if it would magically reappear, but it was futile.  I had done some major damage.

    I contacted a local Technological Wizard at my mother’s urging.  (Thankfully, my mom had been here looking after the girls while I worked on my new website.  She kept Pip and Fig occupied while I tried to hide my despair!)  Mom was certain that a back-up would exist, but The Wizard just said, “Ouch,”  when I explained exactly what I had done.  He was sympathetic, but there was an awkward silence at the end of the line when I reported that I hadn’t backed-up my files.

    During the hour that I was blog-less, I was surprised at the physical reaction I had.  Nausea descended upon me, and I felt as though I was back in my first trimester of pregnancy.  It wasn’t so much losing the site itself that made me feel ill; I have put hours into its’ creation, but it could be re-done.  It was the thought of losing all of the stories.  I’ve been writing for almost a year now, and I know that there is no way I could possibly remember the topics of 105 posts.  I thought of how the girls seem to be changing every day, and it felt as though I hadn’t just deleted a website, I had deleted my memories.

    I also wondered, during that hour, if I would be able to start from scratch.  I wondered if I’d have the desire to do it all again, or if I would do things differently.  I’ve learned a lot since last April, when I first began ‘The Grateful Mama.’  My dream was to generate some income for our family through writing and photography.  I’m starting to realize that dream, but only when I write for, or photograph others. This site hasn’t generated a dime.

    Yet I love it.  It’s a thrill to connect with women in this way, and I know that I’d feel a piece of me was missing if it suddenly disappeared.

    That was about the point when my more evolved-self took over and said to my frantic-self,  “Wait a minute, Karen.  It’s reality-check time.  People are more important than things.  You may have lost your stories about your girls, but YOU HAVE YOUR GIRLS!!!  Even if it turns out that the site is lost forever, you will still feel like a whole, complete person with her beautiful memories in tact.”

    As soon as I came to that realization, I calmed down.  And as soon as I calmed down, I received this in my inbox:

    Hi Karen

    You have completely corrupted your account by deleting all system config files from the root directory, you should never perform any actions outside of public_html/ that is a folder where all site’s files are to reside,

    I have just restored your account from the backup we have created on Feb 16,

    Kind regards,

    Alexey Bryan,

    Just Host

    I  immediately typed and THERE IT WAS!!!!  THE GRATEFUL MAMA HAD BEEN RESTORED!!!  I typed a note to Alexey Bryan of JUSTHOST, professing my love for him and his entire web-hosting company.

    Although I was emotionally exhausted after the hour of losing my site, (pun intended,) I was thankful for the experience, because it reminded me of a few very important things:

    First and foremost; BACK IT UP!!!!

    Second, people are more important than things.

    And third, this blog has become a meaningful part of my life.  Whether it’s lucrative or not, I love it.  And that’s a good enough reason to keep it going.



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